Tashkent - restaurant experiences

In all we spent two days in Tashkent drinking in its curious Russian flavour. Apart from wandering around we spent most of the second day sorting out travel arrangements and getting flights to Khiva.

We worked out that we were going to have to get a Kazahk transit visa (I’d tried to get Kazahk visas in London but not had time enough to wait in the rather long queue, especially when the Kazakh man in front of me had actually got out War & Peace to read….). We were very lucky. Getting up rather late – trusting the information in The Book (Lonely Planet) - we headed down the road to find the Kazakh Embassy. Unfortunately it wasn’t where the map said it was. Cue mad dash around neighbouring roads and through sprinkler systems until we found it and a few large and scary guards outside who kept attempting to speak to us in German. We arrived 10 minutes before it was due to shut for the extended lunch hour and promptly had our phones and cameras confiscated before being ushered through into the visa department. Amazingly the people working there actually wanted to help us! After a while of working out what we wanted in broken English and Russian we discovered that all we needed were copies of our passports, other visas and a photo – and amazingly had it all on us! We popped back in the afternoon and voila - we had visas – an unusual example of ex-Russian efficiency.

We managed to get to grips with the Tashkent metro system as well - the only such system in Central Asia - which is fantastic. The stations are all extravagantly decorated with chandeliers, statues and murals. Unfortunately you can't take photos as they are also the city's nuclear bunkers and as such protected by the army at all times - lots of men in uniform with ridiculously large brimmed hats. Imagine taking the Italian military uniform (already pretty silly) and just carrying on along that theme…. But the trains are very regular and clean and even have air con - not bad.

In trying to understand more about the Uzbek nation we took a look around the ‘Uzbek Museum of the History of the Peoples of Uzbekistan’, housed in the ex-Lenin museum, which was surprisingly interesting. Luckily there were English translations for a lot of it and it was fascinating to read about the more recent history and how the country gained its independence in 1991 - not that long ago. Although we were a bit confused when, standing by one exhibit about the factories and dams of Uzbekistan, we heard a kafuffle behind the screens followed by a handful of pale feathers being suddenly expelled from a gap in the curtains…. Moved on swiftly!

We met a few randoms (The Aussie likes collecting them) after playing "spot the Westerner" - you can normally tell from the lack of socks with the sandals (The Aussie being an exception) or the non-Russian haircut…. but there haven't been many. On our second night we joined up with Daniela, a German girl writing her PHd thesis on the politics of Central Asia who was out there to learn Uzbek (handy) and Oliver, a very odd Dutch/Swiss chap who had taken his annual holiday and rented an apartment in Bishkek for the summer. He kindly, but oddly, bought all of us supper. Really must have been desperate for company! It made a change from the odd drunk Ukrainian in our hotel who, after buying us ice creams, asked our Uzbek receptionist whether it was alright to invite the two of us back to his room for the night… luckily the receptionist said no it was not alright at all! We also had a narrow escape from a potentially awkward conversation when our receptionist started asking: “When do girls become ‘women’ in Britain?” I decided to take this as a cue to discuss the UK voting age and ignore anything else he might have been getting at.

Trying to get a beer was fraught with difficulties as well, with the conversation going along the lines of:
The Aussie: "Beer?"
Waiter: "water?"

The Aussie: "Beer?”
Waiter: "apple juice?"

The Aussie: "Beer?"
Waiter: "orange juice"

The Aussie: "Beer?"
Waiter: "tea?"

The Aussie: "Beer?"
Waiter: "Beer?"

Eventually we got a beer each, but he didn’t approve and insisted in serving it to us in wine glasses and hovering around to pour it out for us when ever the level dipped. This was in “The Flamingo!” a restaurant that came with live entertainment – of the waiter singing karaoke in a corner next to the kitchen with his back to us. Interesting. Not as good as the portly waitress at the “Green House” next door wearing a Russian shell suit with a fag permanently hanging out of her mouth – great customer service!

There were some great menu translations as well - one night I could have chosen from "fruit madness", "salty lard", "lumpy pork kebab" or my 2 personal favourites "fur coat" or "sibilant mushrooms" - no idea what they were - but it almost made you want to try.